A Perfect Storm...

A few weeks ago we celebrated Black Friday. Most employers recognize the importance of Black Friday and give us a few days off beforehand in order to adequately prepare for the early-morning festivities. We start the celebration by eating a large meal the day before, and napping throughout Black Friday Eve so that we are well rested for the day to come. I now offer the rural town take on the blessed event.

To understand my point of view, we must first back up to Thanksgiving (This is what old people call the day before Black Friday--pay them no mind--). Most young people travel home for Thanksgiving. Most young married people, at the very least, alternate holidays with family and in-laws, thus making it home for 50% of the Thanksgiving holidays. And most people get up early for the deals of the day.

There are a few small towns in Wyoming that have been blessed (or cursed) with a Wal-Mart. As the only shopping venue in town, shoppers do not struggle with the question of which vendor will earn their business on this the Blackest of Fridays. Wal Mart alone stands as the vehicle by which the small town masses will stimulate the economy.

And thus the perfect storm has been created for awkward small-town-class-reunions. A storm that I avoid at all costs: Think about it: SHOPPING (hate) with HORDES OF PEOPLE (hate) AT 5AM (hate). People pass it off as getting a good deal on the things that they need. However, most people don’t even know what is on sale until they get the flyer on Wednesday or Thursday. I can no longer convince myself that I am saving money...no matter how good the deal. But this is only a portion of the perfect storm. The second squall is social by nature.

To be honest, I stopped doing it. Not only was I spending money that I shouldn't spend, But I found myself running into too many old friends and acquaintances, people that I hadn't seen in years while wearing pajamas, toting morning breath, with my hair ablaze. Now I will readily admit that at 5am I am not overly concerned with my outward appearance. It is also apparent that nobody else is either. However it still makes for an awkward rendezvous and even more awkward conversation. The worst part is that the conversation inevitably turns into a chat about what you are buying–WE GREW UP TOGETHER, and we are talking about BLU-RAY PLAYERS. Deep and meaningful.

The awkward conversation takes a turn for the worse when the person who has (a) changed his/her hair length and color--or grown facial hair for the guys--(b) gained or lost few pounds, and most of all (c) hasn’t seen or spoke to me in over ten years plays the, “do you remember me?” game which I inevitably loose.

I sometimes get a glimpse of daytime TV where old high school classmates are reunited and the girl who struggled with weight issues confronts the boy who teased her mercilessly as a child. The girl inevitably has lost weight, blossomed, and now confronts the tormentor of her past. I am glad that I escaped high school without being mean to anyone. Because if anyone attacked me for something I said as a 16-year-old, I would probably only enrage them further by admitting I had no idea who they were.

In short I would MUCH prefer to meet for lunch than to bump into people at a moment when they are buying stuff they don't need, or trying to beat me up. That is something to be thankful for.