Celebrating the Life of Joshua Scott Ringer

The following Eulogy was given on February 12, 2009 at the Funeral of our Dear Joshua Scott Ringer. it is published here at the request of many in attendance.

Joshua Ringer was born on October 25, 2002 in Casper Wyoming.

He lived in Casper with us for two years.
While there he was adored by many. Cheryl taught dance classes and would bring Joshua to class with her. From an early age music has been a part of his life. The girls in the class loved him so much and would all beg to hold him. His first Christmas he played the baby Jesus at the Church telling of the Christmas Story .

He was named after his Uncle Joshua, a dear missionary friend, and his Grandfather. We also choose the name Joshua as it is the Hebrew word for Jesus. It means God With Us...

and I can not think of a more Christlike soul.

In Laramie, Joshua participated in Sunshine Generation, which he absolutely loved. He loved dressing up in a little tuxedo and singing and dancing. But more than that, he loved to interact with the kids, and cheer them on.

Joshua attended preschool and loved every minute of it. He would come home and tell us what he learned. He loved the kids he went to school with, and even named one of our vehicles after a girl he liked. So when you hear us refer to our Silver car as Rosie, you will know why. He had a zeal for knowledge. He wanted to know everything. He could count in Roman Numerals, and enjoyed pulling his dad’s anatomy book off the shelves and learning about the body.

He loved people. One of his favorite things to do was to just drop by and visit people. He would pick the most random people as we were driving. And by random, I mean he would pick adults. Most kids would want to pick a place to go where there were other kids and toys. But Joshua is not like most other kids. The person we visited would often say, "thank you for coming by, I really needed that."

The greatest compliment that Joshua could give someone was to ask if that person had kids. This meant that you were pretty cool, and he would like to play with your offspring. Obviously some did not have children, to which he would respond, “Oh you have not been blessed with children”

Joshua was sincere. I remember how reluctant I was to ever say sorry as a child. I remember that even when I said it, I usually didn’t mean it. Anyone who has been the recipient of a Joshua apology knows that it was sincere and heartfelt. And it warmed your soul to feel of his sincere love.

Joshua loved to master things. He would sing a song over and over until he knew it by heart.

Anyone who has been around Joshua knows that he was never the fastest, never the strongest. But there was no child who worked harder, nor any child who was so happy to revel in the triumphs of others. He loved Soccer and he loved baseball. He was always joking with the other kids and making them laugh. In tee ball the last person to bat would get to hit the home run. But I honestly don’t know what he loved more being the last batter and hitting the home run, or greeting his teammates as they crossed home plate.

Joshua knew that prayers are answered. He was once invited to a birthday party that occurred on Sunday. He really wanted to go. We asked him to pray about it and tell us what his heart told him. He came to us a bit later and told us that his heart said he wanted to stay home. Given that freedom at age five, I am not sure that I would have made the same choice.

He loved spending time with his family, grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles and cousins.

Joshua loved his brother. They would play together so well, and he would always help him to do things better. They, of course were brothers and would have their disagreements, but they are best friends.

Joshua loved his Sister. We would often catch him picking her up and carrying her places. And would always dote on her with such affection. In the few months they had together he never got mad that she was crying too much, and always tried to comfort her when she did cry. The day he died he carried her up the stairs and told his mother, “I just love her so much mommy.”

He loved his Mother. In the night when he would steal up to our room for whatever reason, he would always go to the far side of the bed to climb in with her. He would randomly just come to her and hug her and tell her that he loved her. He would want to help her cook, and loved doing preschool activities with her.



We started having an issue of the word “hate” in our home. We developed an idea to try and eliminate the word. We would start each day with four cookies. And if we said the word hate, we would lose a cookie. At the end of the day, we would get together and eat our cookies. The problem went away, and occasionally after using the word, I would hear that sweet little voice whisper, “Dad, you lost a cookie”

Joshua was a missionary. He knew the Gospel and was not afraid to open his mouth and ask a person if they had been baptized.

I would often tell Joshua about the things I remember about him when he was too little to remember. I told him about how tiny his hands were when he was born, and how the moment that little hand wrapped around my finger and squeezed, I knew that we would be best friends forever.

Later, when I was scolding Joshua about some insignificant thing, with tears in his eyes he looked at me and said dad why are you being mean? Remember when I did this? (Holding wrapping one hand around his finger) I melted. And perhaps that is the reason that I cannot even remember why I was reprimanding him.

Joshua loved school. He loved all of his teachers and the office workers and the aides. He loved his classmates and he loved his bus driver. He loved to bring home his projects. He would keep every little thing he made in a drawer by his bed. Every night I tucked my boys in, after making sure their room was clean. I would read to them, and pray with them. Later, after I knew they were asleep, I would steal down to their room to kiss them goodnight. I would often find him surrounded by his school things which he quietly pulled out after I left. Sometimes I would pick up literally hundreds of papers.

Joshua could not stand the sight of suffering. When Joshua was 2 years old he would watch a Sesame Street Elmo video. One of the clips was Elmo and Telly teaching about heavy and light. Elmo carried a feather, and Telly carried a pile of bricks. In the end of the clip, Telly loses his balance and falls with the bricks. It is actually a funny scene, but whenever My son would watch it, he would get so sad and cry when Telly fell down.

We were blessed to have this precious soul in our lives for 6 years. We read to him every night. We prayed with him every night. We read scriptures with him every morning, usually at his prompting. We will miss him so much. But know this, That I know that my Redeemer lives. I know that my son is wrapped in the arms of the savior. He will live again and we will hold him in our arms.

There is an eternal Law of compensation. When the Lord takes something from you he replaces it with something of equal value. A large piece of my soul has been taken from me. A piece which will only be replaced when I hold my son again. But the Lord will compensate. The hard part, is that it will take time.

We have been blessed as a family with the love and support of this community. We have had family and friends travel from all over to wrap their arms around us and cry with us. Lois is here with us today sitting with my wife and I, and I want everyone within the sound of my voice to know that this was not her fault. We do not Blame her, AND WE NEVER WILL. I hope and pray that you will take the time to wrap your arms around her, for her pain is as great as ours.

As I have read the various reports of Joshua’s death, I have seen the words “senseless tragedy.” And let me tell you, I take issue with both the words “senseless” and “tragedy.” 2000 years ago Jesus, a sinless man, suffered and died at the hands of others. Some might call that a senseless tragedy, but His life changed the world. Whether or not Joshua’s death is senseless OR a tragedy is completely up to you. It is only senseless if we do not learn and grow from the experience. If you hug your child a little longer, if you are more patient with your spouse because of Joshua, then his death is not senseless. If you take this experience and make the world a better place, then it is not a tragedy. It would be a tragedy to forget the lessons he taught us. The responsibility lies with you.

Over the last three days, I have been asked on countless occasions, “what can I do?” My answer then probably was not very well thought out. But I have had time to think about what you can do. My answer is two fold:

First: Realize that we are a prideful family, too proud to ask for help when we need it. So the first thing you can do is to listen to that little voice inside your head that tells you that we need you. When you think of us, it is probably because we need to feel of your love, but don’t know who or how to ask.

Second: You can give meaning to Joshua’s life by living the lessons Joshua taught us:

-Don’t wait for someone to ask for help before you give it. You know what they need, just do it.
-Apologize often and sincerely.
-Never hold a grudge.
-Cheer others on, even if they are better than you.
-Smile. Always.
-Never say hate.
-Listen to the little voice that tells us “you lost a cookie” or in other words: “you can do better.”
-Never take joy in the suffering of others, and never add to it.
-Name your cars.
-Go visit people.
-Hold hands.
-Don’t be afraid to remind people of what is most important in life.
-Live life and love it.
-Love your teachers.
-Love your peers.
-Love your bus driver.
-Do everything you can to touch every person you meet.

We love you Joshua. You are with God, and God with us.

Joshua gets to have what he always wanted. He hit the last ball and he has run home. It is our job to live so that we can do the same. Joshua will cheer us on, and he gets to be there to greet us when we come home too.