Today I attended the funeral for a friend who committed suicide. I have had the unfortunate opportunity to attend a few of these in my lifetime. However it has been more than 12 years since my last opportunity.
I am a firm believer that a funeral is NOT a time to bring INCREASED sadness. It should be a time to deliver hope, to remember some good times. Perhaps even some laughter. For Christians, this is an easy task (relatively speaking), because we believe that there is more to this life than this life. However, suicide funerals suck (moreso than other funerals...) and are devoid of hope. They are more than sad and somber, they are HOPELESS. Why?
I will tell you why...(and here is where I get upset and angry)...somewhere along the way, Christian belief, creeds and dogma have taken a very draconian stance toward suicide: It is the common belief of people that suicide is a straight ticket to hell. The problem I have with this theory is this...IT HAS NO SCRIPTURAL SOURCE TO BACK IT UP. None. Not a drop of doctrine. Not a single verse. Having said that, I have endeavored to back up each of my points with a scripture.
Suicide is the voluntary taking of one's own life. The scriptures teach us “Thou shalt not kill.” Exodus 20:13.
Why is murder so wrong? Besides the obvious, gut wrenching thought of what it would be like to snuff out a human life, we must look to the basic tenets of most Christian theology.
All are sinners. Romans 3:23
No unclean person can dwell with God. Ephesians 5:5
God has provided a way to become clean through the atonement (intercession) of Jesus Christ. Leviticus 16:16; Romans 8:34
One of Christ's requirements for benefiting from His intercession (and thus overcoming sin) is repentance. Mark 1:15
A fruit of repentance is making restitution, or attempting to make right what once was wrong. Leviticus 6:4
It would seem then, that this is the catching point, how can one make restitution for taking a life? If you can't make restitution, then you can't repent...right? Well...
If we believe the scriptures, and I do, then we must take the Savior at his word when He said that all but ONE sin is forgivable...and that is the sin of blaspheme against the Holy Ghost. Mark 3:28-29 (What constitutes blasphemy against the Holy Ghost is another subject altogether) For our purposes today we need only establish one thing: Suicide is NOT blasphemy against the Holy Ghost. Thus said, there are PLENTY of other sins for which restitution can not be accomplished, and according to this scripture, they are forgivable. Lets try to figure out HOW.
Is suicide a sin? You'd better believe it is. Can a person who takes his own life be forgiven? Lets draw the conclusion together:
The Lord stated that all sins can be forgiven. Mark 3:28
Suicide is a sin. Exodus 20:3
Sin are forgiven when one repents.Isaiah 1:18
As mentioned above, part of repentance is making restitution, or recompense...restoring what we have taken.
I have found the words of a man whom I greatly respect from my religion who sums up my understanding of the relationship between the grace (or atonement) of God and the law of restitution quite well:
"To earn forgiveness, one must make restitution …mean[ing] you give back what you have taken or ease the pain of those you have injured.
Sometimes you cannot give back what you have taken because you don't have it to give. If you have caused others to suffer unbearably—defiled someone's virtue, for example—it is not within your power to give it back.
There are times you cannot mend that which you have broken. Perhaps the offense was long ago, or the injured refused your [apology]. Perhaps the damage was so severe that you cannot fix it no matter how desperately you want to.
Your repentance cannot be accepted unless there is a restitution. If you cannot undo what you have done, you are trapped. It is easy to understand how helpless and hopeless you then feel and why you might want to give up….Restoring what you cannot restore, healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and you cannot fix is the very purpose of the atonement of Christ.
When your desire is firm and you are willing to pay the "uttermost farthing," the law of restitution is suspended. Your obligation is transferred to the Lord. He will settle your accounts…..there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no apostasy, no crime exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness. That is the promise of the atonement of Christ.
Elder Boyd K. Packer, Brilliant Morning of Forgiveness, Conference Report, October 1995 (italics added).
Do I believe that one can continue to repent AFTER this life?
I do.
Why do I believe it?
Because the Lord said ALL sins can be forgiven (save one), and suicide ENDS this life. Thus if one is able to repent of the sin of suicide, repentance logically, and chronologically MUST be able to occur AFTER death.
I knew this man who committed suicide. While he may have been emotionally closer to others, there are very few who truly knew of his struggles and desperations more than me. I knew him well enough to know his heart. He had a good, enormous, giving heart. I take solace knowing that I am not burdened with the task of judging this soul in regard to his eternal destination. I also take solace knowing that our God who will judge him will judge him by what is in his heart. 1 Samuel 16:7
Suicide often leaves behind a slew of people who pummel themselves with useless questions, “what did I miss?” “What could I have done differently?” “What if I would have called?” “Could I have made the difference?” The answer is there is no good that can come from playing that game. I have played the what if game, and I lose every time, and so will you. There is a question, however, that does have a winning answer, and I hope we all ask ourselves this question often, WHAT CAN I DO FOR HIM NOW?
We can pray for him. During the dark times in my life I could literally feel the prayers of other buoying me up, and carrying me along...helping me through the darkness into the light. I know that this power of prayer is in all of us, and it can affect anyone, whether they recognize it or not. My friend certainly has a price to pay, and a lot of work to do to try and make recompense where no recompense is possible. If we can pray for the living, we can surely pray for those on the other side.
Ultimately it comes down to this: There IS hope.
We sometimes get so wrapped up in the commandments and the "thou shalts" and the "thou shalt nots" that we forget the purpose of the commandments...they are there to bring us happiness...if we obey we have a happier life. God loves us and wants us to be with Him. John 3:16
I believe that if my friend does all he can, and we do all we can, then the Lord will pick up the slack....He will look at my friend, and He who knows all will judge him.
The thought that gives me the MOST peace, the MOST comfort, is that when my friend is judged, the Lord will look at his heart.
What I post here is more for me than for others. It is not my intention to (1) turn my blog into a religious platform or (2) to bash with other Christians whose views may differ from my own. If this has somehow brought you a slice of peace feel free to pass it on and/or comment below. Negative comments WILL be removed.
